Visiting the orphanage

On Wednesday, November 11, Lindsey and I visited the Nanning Social Welfare Institute. This is where Hannah lived for the first two months of her life (that is, after she was found abandoned at 5 days old on July 11, 2004). On September 17, 2004, after recovering from pneumonia, she went into foster care, and stayed with that same foster family until the morning of the day we got her.

Lindsey and I had talked about meeting with the foster parents. We were both concerned that Hannah meeting with them would be very hard for her. On the other hand, I have talked to people who had a much easier time with their new children after meeting with the foster parents and having the foster parents show that they accept and approve of the adoptive parents. But we decided that we wanted to see the orphanage. We knew that Hannah went to the orphanage a couple of times every month for medical checkups, and had probably gone there with the foster parents for other reasons. So she was familiar with the place, and it wouldn't be traumatic for her to see it again. So Michael, our CCAI rep, offered to take us to the orphanage so we could see it and take pictures of it. I took a lot of video, and Lindsey had the camera. We took a taxi, with Hannah sitting on my lap, looking out at the windows with interest as we drove to the very north of Nanning.

The Nanning SWI is a large complex. In China, social welfare institutes provide a lot of services. They are residences for either orphans or senior citizens. they also house clinics and schools for the residents. Some SWI's have sections for both children and seniors - Nanning SWI is one of those. There is a large gate at the entrance with a big sign identifying the complex (in Chinese, of course). When we drove in, we saw a lot of kids hanging around with some of the staff (in China they call these women nannies or "aunties"). Our CCAI rep, Michael, told us that these were the administrative offices. But there was a nice area to hang out in, and it was pretty clear these kids had the run of the place. Some of them had obvious special needs. In the picture on the left, the little boy standing in front in the red shirt has only one leg. I didn't notice at first because he got around so well without crutches or a wheelchair. He just hopped around on one leg. The children swarmed us, and I was sorry we hadn't brought any candy or little toys (bubbles or something) for them. The kids all said, "Hello! Hello!" to us. We ran into this all over China. Kids wanting to practice their English with us. Very cute. They all assumed we were American, though there were a lot of Europeans we met in China. Anyway, the kids wanted us to take their picture.

Then Michael introduced us to some administrative staff, including the Director of the SWI. We walked through a sort of garden - landscaped, but looking pretty sad. Of course it is November, which is autumn, even in Nanning. We then walked up to the new Children's building (photo to the left). It was a built a couple of years ago to replace a really old one, and the people there were very proud of it. Michael told us that people don't usually go inside, but we could if we wanted. I sort of wanted to, but then I thought, I don't want to see the baby room - full of babies in rows of cribs. We could hear kids shouting and singing inside, and I went to the door to look in. It really looked very nice. There were some older kids running around in a courtyard, and I could hear kids singing or chanting some kind of lesson. Kids can live here up to age 18 if they are not adopted. Only a small percentage of the abandoned children in China are adopted, and the ones adopted by foreigners are usually the "best". Only a few of the hundreds of SWI's can do international adoptions, and, although Chinese people are allowed to adopt, few can afford to do it. It costs them the same that it cost us (minus the US agency fee and traveling expenses), and their average wage is pretty low. One of our reps was telling Lindsey that the housekeepers at the hotel probably made about $200 a month.


As we were walking away from the children's building, Michael took a call on his cell phone, and a woman came riding up to us on a bicycle. She got off and came running over to us, calling, "Feng Xian! Feng Xian!" She was smiling and happy and came right over and took Hannah out of her stroller. I was so surprised I didn't know what to do. Hannah seemed to recognize her. At first I thought, "Oh, my God, it's her foster mother! What do we do?" But then I realized that if it were her foster mother, Hannah would be laughing or crying or something. But she just sat solemnly in the woman's arms. Michael got off his cell phone and came over to translate for us. Turns out the woman was a neighbor of the foster parents. She knew Hannah, and even babysat her sometimes. We talked to her for a few minutes, and then she got on her bike and rode away. Hannah didn't react to her leaving. This is a picture of Hannah with the neighbor.

Michael then told us that he had just been informed that the foster mother was actually here, at the SWI. She was so worried when she heard that Hannah wasn't eating or pooping in the first few days, she said, that she couldn't sleep. She had been waiting here all day because she had been told we were coming to the orphanage but had decided not to meet with her because we had brought Hannah. Michael said she understood that she couldn't see Hannah, but she wanted to meet with one of us, if we wanted to. I told him I would, if Lindsey could take Hannah to the taxi and make sure she didn't see the lady.

We walked back to the entrance, and Lindsey took Hannah back to the car, where they were again swarmed by kids and staff. Michael and I went to a side garden area where the foster mother was waiting. She was in tears. She had a large plastic bag full of grapes and apples for Hannah, and a gift bag. Michael translated for us. She kept reaching out and touching my hand as she talked. She said that she was so worried about Feng Xian, she couldn't sleep. She brought her fruit because Hannah liked grapes and apples. She also gave us some "Wahaha" (the sweetened soy milk Hannah loves), told us that when she got Feng Xian, she weighed only 2 kg (about 4.4 pounds), and she was very sick and weak. She had Feng Xian for over a year, and the whole family loved her. She had a daughter who was away at school and she had called her to see how the baby was doing. It was obvious that this woman really loved Hannah and was very worried about her. I told her that Hannah was eating now and had had a bowel movement. I told her that the reason Hannah was so upset was because she and her family had taken such good care of her and loved her so much. I'm not sure that Michael translated everything I said, but I'm pretty sure he censored some of her words, or at least left out a lot of what she said. She would talk for a few sentences, and then Michael would give just a two or three word translation. I'm sure she had very mixed feelings about me. She knew she couldn't adopt her, but she didn't want to see her go. She gave me her address and email, but Michael told me later that if I want to contact her, the rules only allow me to do that through the orphanage. I kept thanking her, but I could tell she was too upset to hear it. I went back to the taxi, and we all got in. As we drove away, I saw her coming into the parking area. I made sure that Hannah couldn't see her. Then I sort of held Hannah up so she could see her head, and Lindsey and I waved at her. I will post a photo of the foster mother here later.

As we drove off, I opened the gift bag (in China, you don't usually open a gift in the presence of the person who gives it to you). Inside were two knitted sweaters, one with matching pants, that had Hannah's Chinese name, Feng Xian, knitted into the pattern, in Western characters, not Chinese, so that we could understand it. I'll take a picture of them and post the photos here later. The foster mother knew that Hannah was going to a place with cold winters, so she made (or had made) clothing she could never wear in Nanning. The climate there is similar to Florida. I really felt good that she had put so much thought into where Hannah was going, and that she cared so much about what happened to her. Michael told me she told him she felt much better after meeting me.